Brilliant Journalism

0:00 Let's go down to the field. If you want to waste some time, watch sports interviews. These just have to stop. They're so. All commentary about sports is dumb because it has no effect on what happens on the play. I live in. I live near Cleveland, so I'm somewhat of a Cleveland Browns fan.

0:51 We used to have this guy who was a great football player. His name was Doug Deacon. And because he was a great football player, they put him in the booth when he retired and he would say things. And I'm not making this up, you know, if you want to. If you want to win the game, you got to score some points. And you're like, what? What? Thank you, Doug. I've never realized that. And the only thing dumber than the ex football person is. And I don't get. I get it. Look, football is losing part of its audience. That's why it's on Nickelodeon. And they're dumping slime on football players and making them kick field goals through spongebob Squarespants. So they're doing that. They're expanding it outside of the US because the US has figured out that, hey, maybe, you know, having a 400 pound guy land on your head isn't good for you. And so a lot of parents now are like, yeah, you're not playing football. You can play basketball. You can. You know, I mean, I can say that my great nephew kept getting concussions.

1:53 And we're like, yeah, that's enough of that. He was really good at it. We'd like you to be able to count to two by the time your season's over. And there's all sorts of flak right now. There's this guy named Justin Hebert who, to his credit, just played a football game with a broken hand. And. And he was interviewed by ESPN's Laura Rutledge. And so the game is over. They went into overtime and his team won because the other team was really just moving down the field. And right before they scored, Justin's team intercepted the ball, thus solidifying their win in overtime.

2:37 And so Laura goes to interview Justin and she's like, hey, can. Can I get just a quick. Just a. And he's like, hey, I'm. I'm trying to celebrate with my teammates now. I'm sure he knew, being the quarterback, that he was going to have to do an interview. But my question is, do we need to do this, like right now? Like, because they're all. We get mad at athletes if they don't shake hands and say, good game. This guy's out there trying to shake hands and say, good game. And they're like, hey, we want to talk to you and ask you these very important questions. And you're like, very important questions, like what? Well, so I watched this interview. Her first question was, what was it like to watch the play that won the game? In other words, what was it like to watch your team intercept the ball? What do you think he's going to say? Oh, man, it was awful. I thought we were going to, you know, lose, and now we're not. What? So he said, hey, I'm so proud to play with those guys because he's on offense, they're on defense. Great. Then this brilliant one.

3:41 Your hand is broken. How does it feel now? Call me crazy, but if it hurt a lot, my guess is he wouldn't have been in the game. I could be wrong about that. And what did he say? How does my hand feel? Pretty good right now, thank you. And then she almost asked the same question. Remember the first one was like, what was it like to watch the play that won the game? She then asked, what can you say about winning in overtime? Pretty much the same question. To which again, you know, God bless quarterbacks. They talk in cliches, you know. He said, it's fun to be part of this team along with things like, you know, we win together, we lose together. We just got to buckle down, we got to focus on the. This we're going to. They just talk in cliches and I love it.

4:37 The NFL is blatantly trying to pull in a female audience and so they want the young ladies watching to go, maybe someday I can stand on the sideline and ask moronic questions because that's the only place you see females which. You ready for this? Here's a hot take. That's a good thing. I remember, I think it was in preseason they had a female and I'm weird. I want Al Michaels to call all my, my games. Maybe throw in a little Tony Romo. You can keep Tom Brady. I'm not a fan of him as a commentary because he wants me to know that that was a three point AA call. That's what we used to call it. It was the 3, 3 down double A called, right? Like, thanks, Tom.

5:25 That doesn't make any sense to me. And so I love sports in a way that it's really talented people. Well, unless you're the Browns, you know, and even that, we have Miles Garrett, who's like the defensive player of the century, basically. And yet we still find a way to lose. That's the beautiful thing of the Cleveland Browns. We can always find a new and creative way to lose. And this week, we decided on the last play that could have, like, put it into overtime or something. Let's take the quarterback out of the game, and we're going to direct snap it to a running back, because that doesn't, you know, let the team on the other side of the ball know, hey, look, they took their quarterback out. I bet they're not going to pass it now.

6:09 Ugh. I just watched Thursday Night Football last night. Why? I don't know. I had it on the background. And it's halftime. The Atlanta Falcons have done 10 penalties just in the first half. The sideline reporter, you know, trips the coach to get an interview and goes, she didn't ask a question. She just said, Coach, 10 penalties in the first half. And he said, yeah, we got to do better on both sides and come out and win the football game. Amazing, amazing interview. Holy cow. And I'm here to tell you, I noticed this a while ago just how unbelievably bad the Cleveland Browns are. The brilliant mind that is Doug Deacon. You know, hey, you gotta catch the ball when they throw it to you, okay, Baby Huey. Boy, there's a reference nobody's gonna get. And it's just one of those things that I do eventually go, I might watch this with the sound off.

7:10 And I know what the NFL is doing. They're trying to save their audience because their sport. Look, I love football, but my great nephew was amazing. You would just hand him the ball and nobody could catch him. But he was getting. You know, you'd blink at him and he'd get a concussion. We're like, yeah, that's not good. And so now he's moved over to baseball, which you can still get clocked in the head with a ball, but much less likely. But I'm just here to tell you, the next time you watch a football game, probably a basketball team, you know, these, these. Let's go down to the field. Hey, let's not. I tuned in to see my team get more points than the other team. And in my case, that usually doesn't happen, but that's. I. I just want to see who won. And I saw them win.

7:59 I still remember our basketball team in Cleveland when LeBron James came back to help win a championship. And then he did. When the clock actually went to zero, I sat there for a good five seconds thinking they were going to call a foul or something to take the win away. But we actually won a championship. We were one strike away from winning the World Series. But no, because Cleveland teams will almost always find a way to. To lose. So don't waste your time. Once the game is over, don't stick around for the post game interview unless you want some really boring answers. And. And you know, you. You can't throw a good pass if you're getting sacked all the time.

8:47 Yeah. Thanks, Doug. Hope you're enjoying your holiday season here as I record this. And until we meet again, it's gonna get better.